Is My Husband Covert Narcissist quiz [ Take Free Test]

Narcissistic behavior can sometimes be obvious – with someone who is grandiose, arrogant and demands constant admiration. However, there is also a more subtle form known as covert or closet narcissism. A covert narcissist may initially come across as shy, self-effacing, or even nurturing. But underneath, they have a fragile ego and sense of entitlement that leads to passive-aggressive, highly manipulative behavior within their relationships.

If you’ve been walking on eggshells around your husband, making excuses for his unreasonable emotions and actions, it may be a sign you’re dealing with a covert narcissist. This condition can create a toxic dynamic that leaves you feeling drained, confused, and questioning your reality.

Take this quiz to gain insight into whether the man you’re married to exhibits the classic patterns and traits of a closet narcissist. Being able to identify these behaviors is the first step towards protecting your well-being and deciding if this relationship is one you want to remain in. Answer honestly about your husband’s conduct – the results may be eye-opening.

Remember, this quiz is not a diagnostic tool but rather a starting point for self-reflection and further exploration.

husband narcissist

Is My Husband A Covert Narcissist Quiz?

Welcome to the 'Is My Husband a Covert Narcissist?' quiz. This quiz is designed to help you recognize potential signs of covert narcissism in your partner. Answer the following questions honestly, and at the end, we'll provide you with insights to help you better understand your relationship.

1 / 10

How does your husband behave in social situations?

2 / 10

How does your husband react when he receives criticism or feedback?

3 / 10

How does your husband react when things don't go his way?

4 / 10

Does your husband often make you doubt your perceptions or feelings?

5 / 10

How does your husband handle conflicts within the relationship?

6 / 10

How does your husband react when he doesn't receive the attention or admiration he desires?

7 / 10

How does your husband handle criticism or feedback?

8 / 10

How does your husband treat people who he perceives as being of lower status or importance?

9 / 10

In your relationship, who tends to make most of the decisions?

10 / 10

When you express your feelings or concerns, how does your husband typically respond?

Is My Husband A Covert Narcissist?

While the loudmouthed, arrogant narcissist may be easy to spot, many people find themselves trapped in relationships with a more insidious narcissist – the closet or covert narcissist. This type exhibits a pattern of self-centeredness and emotional manipulation that can be harder to pinpoint. Take this quiz to see if you may be dealing with a covert narcissist husband.

Lack of Empathy

One of the most glaring signs is a lack of empathy. Your husband seems incapable of understanding or validating your feelings and emotional needs. Conversations become extremely one-sided, with minimal interest in your perspective. Your thoughts and emotions are frequently dismissed or minimized.

Sense of Entitlement

Covert narcissists have an unreasonable sense of entitlement. Your husband expects special treatment, extra favors, and preferential circumstances – even at your expense. They feel rules and social norms shouldn’t apply to them. When their expectations aren’t met, they are prone to angry outbursts and retaliation.

Passive Aggression

Rather than communicate grievances directly, the covert narcissist expresses negativity through passive-aggressive jabs. Your husband may make snide, underhanded critical comments, give you the silent treatment, undermine your efforts, or intentionally “forget” to follow through on commitments aimed at punishing you.

Need for Control

Covert narcissists are driven by an excessive need to be in control. Your husband likely dictates how you should behave, decides what’s acceptable for your thoughts and emotions to be, and restricts your independence and autonomy. Any defiance or disobedience is swiftly punished.

Approval Seeking

At the same time, covert narcissists require a heavy stream of admiring feedback and validation. Your husband may constantly fish for compliments, reassurance about their perceived faults and flaws, and repeatedly ask for your approval. Any criticism is taken as a personal attack and may ignite narcissistic rage.


Underlying it all is a strong pattern of manipulation tactics. Gaslighting and denial of reality are common –your husband may blatantly attempt to convince you that your experiences and memories aren’t accurate or real. Playing the victim and blameshift is used to avoid taking responsibility. Guilt trips are a powerful way covert narcissists get what they want.

If any of these signs ring true in your marriage, you may have fallen victim to the mind games and relentless inauthenticity of a covert narcissist spouse. While the condition is difficult to treat, becoming educated on how to establish boundaries and protect yourself emotionally is crucial. Seeking support from a therapist or support group is highly recommended.

Quiz Scoring System

  • 1-16 – Your husband likely exhibits some healthy narcissistic traits, but they are not dominating his personality. Communication and boundaries may need some improvement, but overall, your relationship seems balanced.
  • 17-25 – There are signs that your husband may have tendencies towards covert narcissism. It’s essential to address these behaviors and consider seeking counseling to improve communication and address underlying issues.
  • 26 – 30- Your husband’s behavior aligns strongly with traits associated with covert narcissism. It’s crucial to seek professional help to address these patterns and explore options for personal growth and possibly even reassess the dynamics of your relationship.

FAQ: Is My Husband A Covert Narcissist quiz

How do you tell if your husband is a covert narcissist?

Identifying a covert narcissist husband can be tricky as they are less outwardly arrogant than overt narcissists.

However, some red flags include a strong sense of entitlement where he expects special treatment, extreme sensitivity to any criticism which he reacts badly to, struggling with empathy and considering your perspective, making self-deprecating comments that are actually pleas for reassurance, exhibiting passive-aggression through backhanded compliments or sulking rather than communicating directly, frequently blaming others instead of taking responsibility, and feeling threatened by your successes rather than celebrating them.

How a covert narcissist treats his wife?

A covert narcissist often treats his wife in emotionally manipulative and demeaning ways. He is emotionally withholding, lacks empathy for her needs and feelings, and frequently dismisses, minimizes or contradicts her thoughts and opinions.

He employs subtle put-downs, sarcasm and backhanded compliments that chip away at her self-esteem. He uses guilt trips to make her feel inadequate or responsible for his emotional state.

As a defense mechanism, he projects his own faults and insecurities onto her.

He has difficulty being genuinely supportive or proud of her accomplishments. And he violates boundaries by constantly demanding praise and reassurance from her.

What is the silent treatment for a covert narcissist husband?

The silent treatment is a common passive-aggressive manipulation tactic used by covert narcissists against their wives. By emotionally withdrawing and giving their wife the silent treatment or “cold shoulder,” they punish her for some perceived offense while avoiding any accountability themselves.

This causes the wife to feel anxious, insecure and desperately wonder what she did wrong to prompt this reaction.

The narcissist then acts as if nothing happened, gaslighting his wife into thinking her concerns over his cold treatment are not valid or blown out of proportion.

Who does a narcissist marry?

Narcissists are often attracted to partners who are highly empathetic, loyal, nurturing and have strong emotional intelligence.

These type of partners are more likely to be patient, understanding and forgiving of the narcissist’s dysfunctional behaviors and demands.

Narcissists frequently marry people with low self-esteem and codependent tendencies, as these personalities are easier for the narcissist to control and draw narcissistic supply from by putting them down.